Autumn

Where I live I don't get to see the leaves change color or feel the temperature drop at the impending kiss from father winter. I dont feel the cold brisk air against my face or smell the scent of burning wood in the air. God I love that scent. It always reminds me of christmas and the sensation of being both cold and warm during those long winter nights. I miss autumn, I miss Winter...I miss wearing my long coat and driving aimlessly around town at night with the windows rolled down just to hear Moby's track 15 (Inside) and feel the cold air brush up against me. I hope this year it will be cold, I hope the leaves will change colors...

Goal, Day two

Tonight I'm finding it especially hard to write this blog entry. I mean when you really think about it, goals are basically habits. Like all habits you have to establish them or break them depending on the desired outcome. For me it's always been easy to start a habit or in this case a goal but it's always been a struggle to finish. I wonder what that says about me? Do goals reflect you character? I'd like to think so. I believe what you set out to do and accomplish defines you.

Goals are the stepping stones in life to what you desire. Think of goals as your compass. Whatever direction you want to go you just establish the goals that you feel will get you to your destination. Some goals can be as simple as "wanting to wake up ten minutes early to read the Newspaper before you go to work" while some can be as complex as "Earning fifty-thousand a year." My problem is I've always viewed a goal as somewhat of a chore, a means to an end. In other words I've always been concerned more with the outcome than the journey.

For me and for those of you who are following your goals it's important to keep this in mind. A goal is a road you travel on and along the way you may find yourself feeling uninspired or even suffering from temporary amnesia and not remembering why you decided on this goal in the first place. It's easier for me, for us, for everyone to just give in to laziness or to never even try for fear of failing. After all, how can you fail if you never try? But then the inevitable question is how can you say you've lived if you've never taken a chance in life? Never pursued something that you felt passionate about?

I can't be concerned with the outcome but only aware that today, tomorrow, and the following day are all small steps in the direction I want to take. If I keep this in mind, if you keep this in mind, you'll find that you feel less anxious about the task ahead and more at peace with the trail you've chosen.

Purpose

Goals are so difficult to undertake. They require so much commitment, time, and most importantly energy. It's very easy to create a goal, to list it out neatly. Eventually though you either lose sight of your goal or simply just give up. This isn't true for all goals but it's fair to say that this applies to most. In order to gain something you have to sacrifice something in return. Usually the sacrifice seems large at first but eventually you realize it really isn't and the gain is worth the climb.

Right now this is my mountain. This blog and the subsequent pursuits I've craved for so long are my goals. Of course, I'm aware that I have to start with one and work on it from there. So this blog is my first goal. Within these intangible pages I hope to imprint my personality. Within these words I hope I convey my hopes, fears, and dreams as clearly as remembering the taste of rain. I hope those who find this blog find it useful but honestly I just hope it helps me achieve what I've yet to achieve; my goals.

So, what better way is there than establishing my goals right here in this very blog. That being said my first goal is to write. I've enjoyed writing and have thought myself somewhat able in the art. The problem with me is I've never truly committed to it. Every time I've had an idea I've disregard it or have attempted to write it out but disregard it when the words don't flow as nicely as I'd like. This is self-defeating I know especially since I've been working on the same story since the sixth grade and so far I've only gotten as far as the introduction.
I hope that in writing this blog I will be able to commit my thoughts to words and in committing my thoughts to words also establish my ideas and continue writing my story. To me this is no easy task but it is one that I want to accomplish. I'm committing to this goal, my first goal, and I'm going to use this blog as my first step towards writing. So, wish me luck :) And welcome to my head. Oh, please don't mind the cob webs